Diana brushed off her near-rape and the death of her friends almost instantly. She seemed in high spirits as she hummed a Christmas song while gathering up all the weapons and ammunition from around the dead. I watched her for a moment. She dashed and nearly skipped around the whole scene like a child, throwing what she took into the back seat of the car. I shook my head and turned to gather my bags.
“You want to take the truck?” she asked me with my back to her.
I turned to face her. She was standing by the car. “Uh, yes, thank you.”
“Thank you! That could have ended very badly,” she said.
I put my hands out, gesturing to the bodies on the ground. “I think it did.”
She looked down with a pout on her lips and a furrowed brow, like she was trying to think too hard. Then her big brown eyes shot up at me in realization. “Oh you, mean because those men died! Yup, happens all the time. The men always die.” She shook her head in disappointment. “They’re like the red shirts on Star Trek, well, not the Next Generation one, but the original, you know?” She shrugged her shoulders. “Too eager I guess.”
“What?”
“The men. They’re too eager to fight each other. Those men,” she pointed to the truck. “These men,” she pointed to those bodies near the car.
“What was going on here?” I had to ask.
She bit her lip and went cross-eyed for a moment. “Where to start? Um, in the beginning,” she said with a deep manly voice. “Nah, that will take too long,” she said in her normal voice. “These shit heads call themselves, ‘The Pride.’ They are fucking ass holes. They cage and rape women and they steal supplies and food from other survivors. They kill all the men and take all the women,” she said while pointing to the dead bodies by the truck.
“These guys,” she said pointing her thumb back toward the car, “Are okay. They call themselves, N.W.O for new world order. They have a lot of high and mighty principles and rules. Very democratic, very hoity-toity.”
“You’re not part of the N.W.O.”
“God no! I picked these guys up off the side of the road on my way back to the base after a supply run. Then these ass hats started chasing us down for my supplies and here we are. That’s what I get for picking up strangers…” She looked at the truck and pointed to the broken solar panels. “Looks like the truck might be out of commission. You want a ride?”
I gave her a cocked eyebrow. That would make getting to the other side of the peninsula way faster. “Yeah. Just let me grab my gear.”
“Cool. I’ll pull the car around.”
I stared after her for a moment while she jumped in the car and tried to maneuver around the bodies to turn the car around. She failed once or twice, running over an arm and a head, which broke open like a watermelon. Once she had the car facing the opposite way, she looked at me with a toothy grin and gave me a thumbs up. Okay.
Five minutes later we were racing down deserted country streets heading east.
“So, you’re not from around here,” Diana said. “I know everyone here and you, I’ve never seen before.”
“Yup, I’m new.”
“You took a boat to get here, huh? I mean, you had to have because the entire south of the peninsula is overrun with pirates. They don’t have a name for themselves or any real leadership. They’re just this huge group of men and women who are fucking crazy. Evil like The Pride and loony like the Toons.” I had to smile at the way she talked. “No one would survive a stroll through their territory.”
“I guess I don’t look like one of them either,” I said.
“Oh, hell no, you do not. First of all, you smell them before you see them. They smell like shit and piss and b.o. And they look just like their smell. They fuck anything and everything. I think they escaped from Western State Psychiatric Hospital. They just, their nuts and they look nuts. I don’t think they could pass for normal.”
“You think I look normal?” I asked without thinking.
Diana looked at me and then the road a few times and then she frowned. “Now that you mention it, you do look off. Bloodshot eyes and pale skin, like really pale. Are you sick?” The look of concern on her face was almost full panic.
“No, no, nothing like that. I’ve just been in an underground bunker for...a while.” Quick thinking and not technically a lie.
“Oh, you’ve been in a bomb shelter all these years!? That explains everything. Well, there are zombies all around us. That sucks, but what’s more dangerous are the people who didn’t die or become undead. People are the worst!”
“You live alone then?”
“No way. My people are the best people. We call ourselves N.E.O, or just Neo.”
“Which stands for?” I asked after a long moment of silence.
“Never Eat Octopuses…No, kidding, it’s New Elite Order. N.W.O used to be part of us, but we had some disagreements about the power dynamic. They wanted a democratic process, but we agreed that people are too easily scared into stupidity and the most qualified person may not always be the most popular.”
“So you have a dictatorship?”
“No, a republic. Those with the most level heads and experience have a seat at the table. Those people decide who leads in what areas and everyone has a job based on their skills.”
“What’s yours?” I asked.
“I’m charged with documenting events, like a history person type thing. I write about everything that happens. I document everything, you know, for prosperity.”
“And you were out here picking up hitchhikers alone because...why?”
Diana’s face went serious all of the sudden and I didn’t like it. She had the type of face that needed a smile or it just didn’t look right.
“Our system isn’t perfect. No ones is. Weaker people just don’t always get a fair shake...We have a diabetic person. He’s a great man, so funny. You’d love him if you ever met him,” she smiled at the thought of him. “But, he needs meds and meds are in short supply these days. No one would approve a med run. Everyone is convinced there are no more meds. We’ve cleaned out all the drug stores, clinics, nursing homes, home homes. But then it hit me, Feline Diabetes! Vets would have insulin, so I made my case for a run but I was denied.”
“So you went anyway,” I guess.
“Hell yes, I went anyway.”
“You’re people going to be mad at you?”
“Duh, but they’ll get over it. I am loved,” she smiled widely at the road. “Where am I taking you anyway? What’s the destination?”
“As close to Seattle as you can get me.”
She looked at me with wide eyes full of shock. “You don’t want to go there.”
“Why?”
She shook her head. "There’s more than zombies, more than bad people, there are true monsters in Seattle. Thank god they haven’t figured out how to cross the water, and neither should you. You can come home with me. You seem badass enough. You’ll be a good addition to Neo.”
“That’s a nice offer, but I need to get to Seattle. I need to at least try.”
A moment of silence stretched between us before she spoke again. “Give me one night to catch you up on all the things you’ve missed while you were in your bunker and if you still want to go to Seattle tomorrow, I’ll take you to the Bainbridge waterfront myself.”
I rolled my eyes. What could I say but, “yeah, sure.”
She perked right up. “Yeah! Sleepover!”
