MY CRAZY HOLIDAY

You know you're totally PC when you feel guilty celebrating Thanksgiving. US history seems like one great big bloody stain between what we did to the Native Americans, Slavery, turning away Jewish Refugees, Japanese Internment Camps, waging wars over oil and religion... I try to tell myself it's a holiday about thankfulness, but there's an empty feeling in my gut that only Tofurky can fill. LOL

But I digress. My crazy holiday began at 1:00am November 26th, Thanksgiving morning. I'm at work, hoping to soon clock out so I can get back to making my yummy Carmela Apple Pies!

The new girl at work and I had just finished setting up the dining area for breakfast, when we noticed a man sleeping on the couch in the hotel lobby. I asked him if he was a guest and he said yes. He seemed intoxicated but friendly at that moment.

His name (Christopher Gledhill) wasn't in our system, nor had it ever been in our system. He was certain that he was a guest at our hotel and handed me his credit card. There was no record of his credit card in our system. He said he checked in earlier that morning, 8:00am 11.25.2015...But I found no record of anyone checking in then, 

At this moment 3 police officers approached my desk because apparently another actual guest (Kerry Friendly) had called the police to dispute a transaction on his credit card, the transaction being him having to pay for his room, which he didn't feel he had to even though it was a prepaid for reservation... The police said that Kerry wasn't well in the head and moved to leave, when Chris told them they'd be back because he was going to press charges on us if we couldn't find his reservation...Chris was right, but he wasn't the one to call them.

Up until that point I was prepared to check him in anyway. My main concern had been that he was at the wrong hotel in town and I wanted him to be sure he was at the right place, but pressing charges against us? Suing us? What the heck? I told him there was nothing I could do for him. We have no record of him in our system whatsoever, and his attitude had destroyed any compassion I had for him.

He pulled out a knife! I didn't see it at the time, but my coworker did. Yeah, still no. I was not checking this guy in, no way, no how.

He then said he was actually a secret shopper and I was in huge trouble...A secret shopper at now 2:00am on Thanksgiving morning? HA! It was incredibly hard not to laugh at him. I just smiled and said, "Nope." Maybe I did laugh a little...I asked him to leave, just leave. He wanted my name and my manager's card. Yeah, buddy, take what you want. 

When he finally did leave, I locked the doors behind him but he was soon back. He begged to be let in for a while and then decided he'd take himself a nap beside our doors, so we called the police. The local police are amazing, so nice and very fast to respond. They were there in minutes and called the guy a cab home. But first we had him sign a notice of trespassing. 

Then I went home to bake! I got two hours of sleep, and then I was up and getting ready for Thanksgiving! Cooking, Cooking, Eating, Eating, napping and then back to work again. 

A few hours before I would leave for home, Mr. Friendly (the guy that didn't want to pay for the room he already paid for...) came to the front desk to argue about how expensive our ice cream is. He came back later to say he bought some cheaper ice cream at the grocery store, but then ended up buying half the store, but that's okay, because he's a billionaire. 

"Why argue over $5 ice cream if you're a billionaire?"

He's a trillionaire, actually. He was born into riches. 

"That must be nice. I was born into the opposite of that." LOL

He's royalty, actually. 

"Oh, wow. That will do it."

He says he's the King of Washington State! 

There are no kings in America. (other that movie stars and CEOs)

He says, he's THE MESSIAH. He's the king of kings (in all seriousness)

I said, "Well that changes things" LOL

He goes on to weave this fantastically, if not a heaping butt load narcissistic and absolutely delusional tale. You see, he is Jesus and God. He found out 19 days ago when God physically came to him and told him he's royalty and has all the money in the world, and complete rule over all the universe. 

As a decedent of Sampson (the murderous biblical douche bag with super human strength...until you cut his hair. Then he was weak...until it grew back, then he was a murdering super human again), Friendly's father was not born of a woman (no details given) but his mother was just 4 years older than himself (white with blue eyes and blond hair), and a direct decedent of Lucifer himself, who also had blue eyes and blond hair, because obviously all white people came from Lucifer and all Black people came from Jesus. That's why all white people are evil and all black people are good. Duh. :-P

Oh, did I forget to mention that I was meant to be his queen? Yup, the whole point of his nonstop nonsense was to convince me that God wanted us to be together, forget that I'm married. God loves me and wants to bless me in the privacy of Mr. Friendly's room. Insert here disgusting horny facial expressions and sounds, and a plethora of not cool sexual comments. He wanted to bless me all night...so gross... He went on and on about how much money I will have and what God wanted to do to my body, 3 times a day, every day. I tried to keep it professional, to be politely pleasant, but I couldn't stop being incredibly sarcastic.But, my semi-regular outbursts of funny went unnoticed.

This harassing went on and on for far too long before our security finally escorted him to his room, which was fantastic because just as the security office came in he was trying to reach over the counter to kiss me....NO!

 As soon as he was gone from the front desk I left! It was all I could do to not speed the whole way home. I needed mass quantities of distance between us to feel better. I got home just before midnight, but I couldn't sleep. I stayed up until 3:00am binging on Netflix, Jessica Jones until I finally felt I could fall asleep, you know, just in time for the baby to wake up. LOL ^_^ 

Yeah, I had a swell Thanksgiving...

I'm not sure if any of this even makes a lick of sense...I still haven't had enough sleep to function at 100%.  2 hours here, 1 hour there...so tired :-P