I haven't written a word in 5 months! I've been stuck in a deep depressive state. Every time I feel myself getting better, I get sucked back down... I can't read, I can't write, I can't draw...I've painted once.
I feel like I'm drowning in self hate, self doubt and self destruction.
I was laid off from my job in December. I've never felt so rejected in my life. Since then I feel no pride, no self love and no ambition. I feel like a garbage person. I'm worthless and easily discarded. I'm an emotional writer and I cannot write when I'm like this and nothing seems to help. I have wonderful kids, a new job and supportive friends, but nothing helps me look past this rejection, and every criticism I receives reinforces it 10 fold. Every cruel word and disparaging tone, every time someone's mean to me, especially if its someone I love, it destroys me inside.
I hate me and everything about me...I feel like the world would be better without me in it.
I feel like I'm drowning in self hate, self doubt and self destruction.
I was laid off from my job in December. I've never felt so rejected in my life. Since then I feel no pride, no self love and no ambition. I feel like a garbage person. I'm worthless and easily discarded. I'm an emotional writer and I cannot write when I'm like this and nothing seems to help. I have wonderful kids, a new job and supportive friends, but nothing helps me look past this rejection, and every criticism I receives reinforces it 10 fold. Every cruel word and disparaging tone, every time someone's mean to me, especially if its someone I love, it destroys me inside.
I hate me and everything about me...I feel like the world would be better without me in it.
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