ALL THE SHIT I DO

I laugh sometimes when I think about all the stuff I like to do...Writing, drawing, painting, sculpting, acting, comedy...ing... On top of being a wife, mother and working I feel very busy ALL THE TIME, even while I'm sleeping I feel very busy.

My day:

Wake up at 7:30AM
Get out of bed and pee NOW!
Wake up the kids!
Make breakfast!
Get kid off to school NOW, DO IT NOW! 
Walk the damn dog! What are you waiting for? Do it! 
Coddle with your baby. Don't waste time. He's fucking precious! 
Clean or write or draw or something. DO SOMETHING NOW!
Put the baby to sleep for his nap. 
OH SHIT! You fell asleep too! Damn it! 
Pick up your daughter, stupid! You're going to be late, go NOW! 
Make dinner now!!!! 
Bathe those fucking kids! 
Read a bedtime story, NOW!
Everyone is asleep, so stay up until 2AM writing and drawing or cleaning or something!

It all starts again at 7:30AM the next morning...unless it's Thursday-Saturday...I work nights and my schedule is fairly fucked. 

At least the stress is worth it.
My books are for sale only at Amazon
And, my art is for sale only at Redbubble

COMING TOGETHER

At the beginning of this month everything in my life felt like it was falling apart; my home, my family, my career. I was overwhelmed with a sense of loss. 

You know, I love that kids movie, Inside Out...it has an important lesson for kids. It's okay to be sad.

In a moment of weakness I posted a blog and a facebook post that expressed my inner turmoil. To my surprise I was almost immediately surrounded by supportive loving people. I never expected it...Like Riley from Inside Out, I let myself be sad and people that loved me came together to cheer me up. That was awesome.

I want to thank every one of you for that. I love you. 

Because of the great support I received, I've been extremely productive. The Librarian (the second book in The Serial Series) is coming along nicely. The coloring book, Dark Whimsy, is nearly done! I've finished formatting all my books so I can start ordering them for an even in July: 

I'll be selling all my books, including the coloring book. I can sign any books that are bought, but mostly I just want to hang out with you guys.  

The hubs and I are still house hunting, but my mom and dad (Michael Trainer) have come to the rescue! Since they are moving to Indiana, they are going to let us stay in their house so long as we take over the mortgage payments. I would much rather they sell it so that they can get all that massive profit (almost 200k in profit if they see at market value!!!!) But, they love us more than they love money. We are still looking for a home to buy (we could never afford my mom's house) but their offer is a welcomed safety-net.

So, you see. It's all coming together. Home- no worries. Career- no worries. Family...well, I'm still losing my mom and dad to Indiana but I'm going to visit them as much as possible. A week in the summer and a week in the winter is my hope...But it doesn't quite seem enough since I haven't gone more than a few days without seeing my mom in over a decade. 

LIMBO

So....I was a tad depressed in my last post and it took me damn near 2 weeks to get over it. In all honesty my depressed state of mind had more to do with my own personal life than my writing career.

The Good:

• My house sold for asking price. Awesome! Let the house hunting begin!
• And to an Awesome man, a veteran. Fantastic! I miss my home so much, but I know it's in good hands.
• My Mom's boyfriend got a job. Wooo Hooo I was fully afraid of moving out of my mom's if he still hadn't found work. I wanted to stay and help...

The Bad:

• The Job Mom's boyfriend found is in Indiana, not Washington, so they are leaving. I will miss my mommy so badly! And I feel terrible, because I know she wants me to come with her. She will miss the only grand-kids she's ever known. Heartbreaking all around.
• Because they are leaving James and I need to find a place of our own immediately! But, the market in Everett, Washington and ALL the surrounding towns is so fucking HOT right now. We can't afford a house here...So in a few months we might actually be homeless! [James is putting in for a transfer to Wanatchee, Washington and we can afford the houses there]
• On top of that my daughter has been acting out, everyone in the house is fighting and my plans to become a caretaker are being completely destroyed by all of this...

I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions so I'm stuck in limbo.

So What am I going to do about it? 

I have to center myself.
Who am I? A mother, A friend. An artist. At my core, this is who I am, so I'll be that. I'm focusing on my kids and my friends and my craft. The rest of my life might be a mess. Complete upheaval really, but I will be a steady rock, or something like that.