Adult Coloring Book: Dark Whimsy
15
I ARRIVED AT Bastion Fatal early. I’d only been there once before, when Uncle Seth was directing a play, Anna in the Caribbean. I’d never been to the Bastion on my own. I was intimidated, to say the least. Alicia offered to lie to her father so that she could come with me, but I was too mad at her to have her around. She shouldn’t have to lie to be with me. She was my best friend of fifteen years for Goddess sake! We survived public schools together and college, and now that all meant nothing.
The Bastion was built half on land and half in Commencement Bay, with a large part of it under water. It looked like an Indian palace, all gold, and white, with the water behind it. The only entrance was through a gilded wrought iron gate, guarded by three humans. I thought the guards’ uniforms were a bit odd. They wore white and gold getups that looked like pajamas. And, besides a slim red sword, the guards didn’t exactly possess intimidating guard gear either. But, what they lacked in weapons and armor, they made up in numbers. The place was lousy with them.
The parking lot was full of both cars and people. Some were just standing around in cliques; others were making their way toward the building like me. It was warm for a summer night in Washington, and most of the women were wearing skimpy clothes that showed off a lot of skin. I felt frumpy in my baggy jeans and flip-flops. My hair was combed neat and short in the back, while the front was allowed to cascade over my shoulders long and red.
I didn’t mind the long walk through the massive parking lot. The Bastion looked magnificent in the growing dark, with the bay in the background. Most of the Bastion was painted white with red accents. At the top was a huge glass dome, gilded and shining. The marble steps that led to the large front doors were crowded by guards. I had to squeeze my way through. There were two more guards standing just inside the doors, like Wal-Mart greeters.
“Thank you for visiting Bastion Fatal. Please refrain from going beyond the first two floors, as those are off-limits to guests.” The guard smiled down at me with big white teeth and an excessive amount of eyeliner.
I entered the grand hall. You would think the inside would be just as bright as the outside, but it was all plain dark marble walls, floors, and ceiling. Small round lights in the ceiling provided spares lighting.
“Excuse me?” I asked a guard standing at the entrance of a door along the hall. Her dark hair was pulled back tight, leaving her face bare to the world. All her features seemed too much; eyes too big, lips too plump, eyebrows too thick and dark.
She didn’t move a muscle as I approached her. She didn’t look at me, she simply replied, “Yes.”
The pamphlet didn’t have a room number, just the address of the collective’s compound. “Um, I’m here for the class taught by Damon. The one for vampires and I was hoping you could—.”
“Down two floors,” the woman interrupted.
“So, it’s okay that I go beyond the first two floors?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said with her eyes still staring straight ahead. By looking at the other guards I knew standing still, eyes front was not a rule for them, which meant she probably took her job way too seriously.
“Do I need a pass or something?”
“No,” she said loudly and with an inflection that told me I was rubbing her the wrong way.
I began to walk away, but then I turned back to the guard. “How will they know I’m going to class and not trespassing?” I asked, so not wanting to get in trouble in this place.
The guard looked down at me. The weight of her stare made me hold my breath. What big dark eyes coated in black makeup you have.
“There are no other rooms being used two floors down due to construction, so that would be the only reason for anyone to be down there. Normally that class is held on the first floor. However, that space is being used for something else, due to construction.” She gave me a stern look. I backed away slowly. The other guards seemed to be friendly and smiling. Lucky me, I decided to talk with the one with a chip on her shoulder.
I followed the plain black and white signs hanging from the ceiling that pointed the way to the elevator as I walked down the hall. I found the elevator with a crowd of people hanging around it; most of the people weren’t human. Don’t ask me how, but I could always tell if someone’s not one-hundred percent human. The guards, all of them, were human. But, most of the people standing around me were other things; witches, were-creatures, Sasquatch. Well, it’s not so hard to tell Bigfoot from human. Bigfoots are big, and if the size difference somehow escapes your notice, there’s always the thick fur jumpsuit and exposed genitalia.
The doors opened, and we all piled into the redwood box that was the elevator. I didn’t like elevators because I didn’t like heights and elevators usually go up. Thankfully, I was going down. It was a big elevator, but I still managed to get squashed against the wall in the back.
“Floors?” someone shouted out from the front of the elevator. People started shouting out numbers. I waited until everyone was quiet before I said, “Two floors down!” I didn’t think anyone could see me behind the two Bigfoots standing in front of me.
“Down is first!” announced the same voice.
I felt a pull when the elevator started moving, and I clutched at the bare wall, trying hard not to touch the people in front of me. Why oh why don’t Bigfoots wear clothes?
“Negative two!” shouted the voice.
“Um, excuse me,” I said as I squeezed my way out of the elevator. I didn’t look anyone in the face, just their feet, as I made my exit.
“Sorry. Excuse me. I’m so sorry,” I muttered until I nearly fell into the hall. The doors closed behind me before I could apologize one more time.
It was a part of Bastion Fatal I’d never been in, not that I’d been in much of it, mostly just the grand hall and auditorium. The hall was empty, dark and all the doors were open or missing. It was smaller than the grand hall, narrower. As I walked down the hallway, past all the open dark rooms, I had that feeling of being watched that you get when there’s too much darkness surrounding you. The lights in the hall were dim and unlike the marble walls on the first floor, this floor had thick old wood paneling and tapestries. It looked better to me. More sophisticated and warm. There were carvings in the wood. I walked up to one of the panels to get a closer look. The carvings depicted creatures, vampires, and humans in various situations. I ran my fingers over the dusty, cobwebbed walls. I admired the care and talent that had gone into making them. One carving was of a woman with long curls flowing in the night’s sky. There was something familiar about her.
“Beautiful,” I whispered.
“Yes, she was.” It was a booming voice that cut through the empty hall and I jumped high and screamed—just a little.
“Shit,” I spat. I put my hand over my heart to calm it. It didn’t work.
“Sorry,” said the silhouette of a man standing in the doorway of one of the rooms. He appeared to be crossing his arms and leaning against the door’s frame, but there was no knowing for sure. He was simply that dark. The only thing that was clearly visible was his teeth, ultra white in contrast. He stepped into the light of the hall and still he was a shadow of a man. He was complete darkness, like a walking talking man made of tar, without the luster.
“Are you here for the class?” asked the dark figure. His voice had lost none of its boom. Like Ruy’s deep masculine tone, it was unsettling but strangely alluring.
“Yes,” I admitted. My voice quivered just a little, but enough to make me ashamed of myself. I hated being afraid, probably more than I hated heights, and since I was afraid of heights that was all the more reason to avoid them.
“You’re early,” he said. He had no whites in his eyes, smooth black skin and short black hair. He wore black on black clothes, shirt, slacks, shoes, and belt. I stared at him for a moment longer than was polite, until I realized that this man was the silhouette from the pamphlet Tristan had given me yesterday.
“Are you—Damon?” I asked.
“Yes, you’re Raina?”
My heart jumped into my throat, “Um, yeah. How did you know my name?”
Damon waved his hand as if he could shoo away my fright. “Your uncle, Seth, told me to expect a witch-elf with the deepest darkest auburn hair I’d ever seen. That’d be you,” he smiled, revealing warmth I wouldn’t have guessed would be there. “You’re a living vampire?” He came closer to me, and I almost took a step back but stopped myself.
“That’s what they tell me.”
His dark face leaned in closer, too close for comfort. He was in my bubble, but I didn’t back away. At this distance, I should have been able to see his pores but I saw none. His skin was smooth, smooth like glass. There was no hair, no wrinkles. In fact, if he stood still and kept his mouth shut there would be no telling him from a statue.
He sniffed the air around me. “What are you?” he asked himself more than me, but before I could think of an answer that wasn’t sarcastic we were interrupted by the arrival of a noisy vamp.
“Yo, D!” shouted a vampire walking off the elevator. He had smooth brown skin and eyes that revealed some distant elf relation. He was wearing a hoody and a pair of light colored jeans.
He walked right up into my bubble with Damon. Does anyone here understand the concept of personal space?
He smiled down at me. “Hey, I’m Charley,” he said, and he offered me his hand. I took it and found it cold and rough, but firm.
“I came early so you could help me with my problem,” he said, looking over my head, to the shadow man. Damon nodded as if he knew what the vamp was talking about.
“Well, why don’t we step inside the classroom, and then we can talk, Charles,” Damon said, gesturing with an incline of his head.
The classroom was beautiful. Like the hall, it was full of rich wood carvings and tapestries. One wall was made of thick glass, a window looking out into the bay. Right now the window was black with dark night waters. I couldn’t imagine what it must look like during the day. There were five long tables with plastic chairs, facing the chalkboard at the front of the class. I sat at the first table and doodled on a pad of a paper, while Damon and Charley talked in hushed voices at the back of the classroom. I could have heard them if I wanted to, but I had more integrity than that.
Once other people started arriving Charley sat down far from me, and Damon headed to the front of the class. He wrote his name on the chalkboard and turned back to the class.
“Have a seat!” he shouted over what was now a room full of people. “My name is Damon, and before you all ask I’ll answer some common questions I get. What am I? My race is called Barguest. What the hell is that?” I heard giggling from behind me. “It’s a little-known shapeshifter race. My people commonly get mistaken for the black dog or death omen, which is part of the reason why Barguest is an endangered species.”
“Yeah, Yo, D needs to repopulate his peeps, so if any of you hot honeys want to save a species I can give you his number!” interrupted Charley.
Several of the vampires around him gave him high fives and Damon smiled. Charley and his pals sat away from the rest of the class, like a little gang of street-smart vamps.
Damon cleared his throat loudly, “If I can continue. To combat some rumors you might hear. I am not immortal, but barguests do live about five times that of a normal human, so about four hundred and fifty years, give or take a century or two. We don’t drink blood or eat people. We eat what you would eat. Though, most of us are partial to vegetarianism. It can be hard to eat something that you can shift into. It feels too much like cannibalism.” He looked out over the class and when his gaze ran over me I looked away. His darkness was intimidating.
“I see a few new faces today, and for those of you that are new, there is really no beginning to these classes. I teach you seven rules to live by, two hours a night, five nights a week. So, by attending seven classes in a row, you’ll have learned the tools a modern vampire needs in order to live in today’s America. Usually, before and after class I’m free for personal advice, any questions you might have or a group discussion. And, while I’m not a vampire, I have lived long enough among them and I have doctorate degrees in sociology, economics, politics, medicine, psychology, and theater. Believe me, when you’ve lived as long as I have, you have time to remake yourself a few times over,” he added when many of my classmates made faces of astonishment. I was one of them. That was a lot of school. Damn.
“So, without further ado, shall we begin tonight’s lessons?”
No one made a sound. In fact, the room was deathly silent. Charley and his gang of vamps were leaning forward over their table listening intently. I found myself not immune to the appeal of what Damon might teach us. The life of vampires was all mysterious and scary.
“The first thing I want you to get out of your heads is that vampires are foreign and mysterious things you could never be, because if you’re in this class, you are either on your way to becoming a vampire, or you’re one already. And, to live successfully as a vampire you need to admit to yourself that those vampires out there are just as much human and feeling as you are.”
Damon was a passionate teacher. His voice was charging and his very presence demanded respect and obedience. Our faces followed him about the room as he lectured. I was almost mesmerized by the void of his dark skin, and the muscles that worked under it, and how he moved his arms when he made important points. I had brought a pen and a notebook, but they sat on my desk with not a single note taken. I could never write fast enough to keep up, why even bother?
I noticed that many students had recording devices on the table in front of them. Damn, what a good idea. I would have to remember that next time and maybe repeat this class.
“Now that you understand that vampires are people and that becoming one doesn’t make you less of a human, I must tell you that this class isn’t a philosophy class. I won’t be lecturing you about morals or anything of that nature. If you want to throw around ideas after class, that’s great, but my class is about practical life as a vampire. The belief in your innate goodness is essential to being a productive member of society. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is as philosophical as I will get during class hours.”
For the first hour of the class, he went on to explain the vampire’s economic place in America. He handed out career placement quizzes to the class, at least, those of us who hadn’t taken this class before. Apparently, many of his students simply came back for his good company and to hear his lectures. There were only three of us that were completely new to the class, and there was one more that never took this particular class. The quizzes were short and done quickly. Once the quizzes were all taken, Damon gave us a ten-minute break while he evaluated them. As we came back into class Damon handed us our quiz results and asked us to move the tables to the side and make a circle out of the chairs.
“Now,” he began, standing in the middle of the circle as we sat in the chairs. “I want you all to go around the circle and introduce yourselves to each other. I want names, interests and how you became a vampire or why you want to become a vampire. If you feel comfortable sharing, go ahead and tell us about the quiz you just took. If you’ve taken it before and you want to share your quiz or your current career, feel free to share. You have thirty minutes, go!”
Squeezing through the circle, Damon walked back to the front of the class and sat behind an old oak desk, cluttered with papers and old knickknacks.
“Okay,” said a girl wearing a powder blue sweater. She had a real down to earth look to her. She wore no makeup or jewelry that I could see. She seemed utterly plain until she actually spoke. “Let’s get it on, bull shitters!” she announced and half the class laughed, including me.
