I'm supposed to be writing about my vacation in Portland Oregon...but I find myself not feeling up to it. I really don't have much to say. They have a law against pumping your own gas, which I found weird. They're roads confused me, their homeless made me weary, and their nontaxable goods made me spend way too much money... I visited a few shops, saw a waterfall, visited their zoo and saw a cheap movie and then I walked along the Columbia River at sunset with my husband and daughter.
That was nice...But, I'd rather share with you the 3rd chapter of Nascosto, Nick Kirkland's untold story. If you haven't read the first two chapters Press
. If you're completely unfamiliar with Nick Kirkland, please Press
All rights reserved.
The scent of pine filled his nostrils as he woke
with a deep inhale. He was naked, lying on his back in the dark. The gauze was
gone and his body was no longer stiff, but his moments were still restricted as
he ran his hands down the wood that surrounded him. He was in a box. He sensed
no movement and heard no sounds. He took in another deep breath before pushing
against the wood with a grunt. The face of the box few across the dark room and
hit the far wall hard. Nick was surprised at how easily it came off. It was
just wood and nails, but he’d kept himself a sickly vampire from day one. His
strength was still alien to him at times.
He was free of one box only to find himself in
another; a small room with no windows or doors. It was just him until a calm
female voice called out from the dark, “Nicholas Cadell Kirkland.”
Nick stood from his box and spun on the spot,
trying to find the source of the voice. “Where are you? Who are you? Where am
I?”
“Sit,” the voice said firmly, and he sat back in his
box, unable to move or speak as a naked woman appeared before him, seemingly
out of nothingness. She was near seven feet tall with bronze colored skin and
long flowing white hair. She looked down at him with large glowing eyes, but
for a reason Nick could not discern, he was not afraid of her. Quite the
opposite. He felt an instant trust and bond between them.
“Good,” she said. “You may speak, Nicholas.”
“My name is Nil,” Nick corrected her. She frowned
but agreed with a shallow nod of her head.
“Nil, then. You were brought to Nascosto in chains
for your safety and you remain bound now for the same reason. The Nasco tell me
you are self-hating. They say you want death?”
Nick closed his eyes for a breath. “Who are you?
What are you?” he asked with downcast eyes.
“Classic deflecting, but alright. I’ll answer your
questions. As for who I am, the Nasco call me Leah, but that is just one of
many titles I have been gifted. As for what I am. I believe your people
refer to my kind as Angels.”
Nick looked at her then. Intellectually he knew he
should be suspicious of this woman who claimed to be an angel, but there was a
warm and comforting air about her that rendered him positively tranquil.
“Why are you here?” he asked her.
She shrugged and kneeled down to him, causally
taking a seat beside his box. “The Nasco
call on me from time to time, for help and guidance. I’m here to vet you, to
make sure you’re no danger to them or yourself.”
“And what if I am—a danger to myself?”
“I’m sure they’ll deal with you as they see fit.”
“And who are they?”
“People not unlike yourself. What the humans of
this world would call monsters. Many of them are vampires, but there’s also a
large pack of werewolves, a coven of witches, centaurs and fairies, trolls and
ogres.” Leah tapped her finger on her chin as she thought. “I’m forgetting
one—oh yes, dragons.”
“Dragons?” Nick questioned in disbelief. The world
believed dragons had been extinct for decades. The only dragon Nick had heard
of living past the turn of the century was famously showcased in a traveling menagerie
based out of Germany. He’d always thought it tragic that the poor creature had
lived and died in chains, the last of her kind. “Real dragons,” he mused to
himself.
“They hide in the ground mostly, sad things. I
wish they could fly free, but for their skin and their bones they are too
greatly desired by hunters. That and they’d draw far too much attention to this
place. The Nasco care for them, but they remain locked away. It’s a wretched
existence.”
Nick looked out at the room, imagining being
locked away forever. “Yes, wretched,” he said thoughtfully.
“So are you a danger to yourself?” Leah asked,
getting back on track with what was asked of her.
“Maybe. Yes. I don’t think I can live with what’s
happened.”
“Ah, yes,” Leah said. “Alistair sent you with a
note detailing your troubles. “You and he are alike in a lot of ways.”
Nick tried to raise from his seated position but
he couldn’t. He wanted to lash out at her in anger, but all he could muster was
a sour face and a controlled disagreeing tone of voice. “I am nothing like
him.”
“So you say—you have done horrible things with the
best of intentions. His body has done horrible things to spite his best efforts
to stop it.”
“What does that mean?”
She shrugged. “It means that everyone has good and
bad inside of them. It means that no one is perfect.”
Biting his lip, Nick gave her narrow eyes. “How
can you be so casual about his crimes? He’s skinned people alive. How can you
sit there and defend him?”
“This isn’t about him. This is about you. This is
about how you will live in Nascosto peacefully, as a contributing member of
their society.”
Nick crossed his arms. At least he could do that
much. “Then they might as well kill me, because I will if they don’t.”
Leah exhaled sharply. “This back and forth is
becoming tedious. You will not talk any longer. I will tell you how it is and
you will listen.”
And just like that, he could no longer talk. He
sat in his crate for what felt like hours listening to her talk about all the
world’s troubles, all the pain, all the suffering, nations at war, mass
starvation, and mass genocide. She talked about the gods and angels and how
they try to sway mankind this way and that to minimize the cost of lives and the
hurt to nature. She spoke of worlds light years away from Earth, and their
troubles. She spoke of watching a star grow old and collapse on itself, and
then explode into a brilliant, toxic supernova. She told him a personal story
of loss. Of the half human son she had given birth to once many hundreds of
years ago when she fell in love with a man of Earth. Her son was only a baby when
he was murdered in his crib by a fellow angel.
But she spoke of beauty and life, too. She told
him stories of triumph. How the gods successfully evacuated and relocated
worlds of creatures to escape that exploding star. She regaled him with the
description of the supernova eventually becoming a whole new solar system, with
new planets and new creatures, ones that could feel depths of emotions the
likes of which the gods and angels had never felt before. A beautiful planet of
such diversity and love.
“Greed and anger are louder and devastating, but
this planet is full of such love. Ordinary people doing heroic, lovely things
doesn’t always make it to the news. Criminals always do.”
“Raina loves you, Nil,” Leah said. “And I know you
love her. She needs you. Believe it or not, she will always need her big
brother. So you can’t die, not yet—you may speak.”
Nick didn’t know what to say at first. His worries
seemed small in the shadow of the universe. But, still, “What’s happened to me…”
“What’s happened is in the past,” Leah
interrupted. “You cannot control your past, only your future.”
“How am I supposed to just get over it, just like
that?”
“No control means you don’t have to do anything,
Nil. No control means no worries. There is nothing at all that you can do. You
must simply do what needs doing in the moment, for the future.”
“I can’t live with what I’ve done. I killed
people, Leah.”
“Then you must do good, be a good person in their
memory. You can’t undo a wrong. It will always be your burden to carry. But do
as much good in this world, with this life that has been given to you, and you
will find that living is not so horrible as you may think.”
Listening to her words, Nick could feel a weight
lift from his heart as he began to understand her.
“Leah…” he began, but when he looked up she was
gone and he could move freely. Just then a hidden door opened on its own
accord, spilling light into the room. He was free in many ways.
